When We Are Sitting

When We Are Sitting

I've been delving deeply of late into what seems like a bottomless well of Buddhist insight on the nature of our mind. Much of this I give full credit to a wonderful clinical psychologist, which happens to be a former Buddhist monk, by the name of Jack Kornfield. Google his name. You'll find plenty there to fill in any biographical itch you may have. You can find plenty of his books online and one in particular that I would highly recommend is his "Meditation for Beginners." It comes with a CD that has six or so guided meditations. I think the beautiful thing about Buddhism is that it lays no claim to any particular creed and you can still be an atheist, agnostic, Christian, etc. and access the wisdom of this philosophy without the pressures of converting to Buddhism. The more I think about the incessant cacophany of our society and its multicolored marketers the more I am convinced that the bravest souls on our planet are those who have the courage to sit quietly and address the impact of our distorted perspectives as they dance their way across our minds while we try to breath and pause to address the many visitors we have while meditating. It will bring you to tears. It will surprise you. It will convince you how active your mind is. It will unveil all your story lines and what is behind each of them. Recently while meditating I envisioned myself on the shore of a beach, just sitting on the sand and watching the waves come in. The tide slowly increased in my unfolding thoughts and the waves graduated to crashed of water. At one point I was submerged in water and as I recall I threw my hands up into the air, stood up, walked to another part of the shore, smiled, sat back down and continued to sit. In a lot of ways what I just described encapsulates the essence of sitting meditation. We are not there to fight with our thoughts but to simply acknowledge them, label them as such "fear" or "bitterness" or "desire", etc. and to simply move on. In time we begin to see that our experiences are very similar to what others suffer from and we see how interrelated we are to one another on this place we call earth.

My Thoughts on the Monster

I could not sleep last night and I decided to get up, grab my my electronic reader and hit the couch for an adventure into the world of fiction. It seems that it was time to give Mary Shelley a chance and so Frankenstein is now at the center of my thoughts as I work my way through this interesting novel that I confess I have never before read. Natural philosophy, alchemy, metaphysics, and the like are all at the forefront of my thoughts as I continue to work my way through the story. Frankenstein, the monster's creator, and not at all the name of the monster itself, is striving to tap into the meaning of nature and of life itself and becomes maniacal in his pursuit to bring to life that which death's bitter sting has tainted. How interesting that once he meets with success that he runs in fear from the very thing that promised him so much hope for the future of humanity. More to come!

Grist for the Mill

Well, it's Monday morning and in less than an hour I'll be at my desk pecking away at my computer and making sure The Man's stock is increasing in value through my little part in the system. I wonder today why we do the things that we do and on occasion entertain ourselves by watching people that do what it is that they want to do. It's a mystery really why we live our lives the way we do. We slave away like the Jews under Egyptian taskmasters only to be rolled over by the very stones we are erecting for the sake of another. This is not cynical blabber mind you. I find people all the time who love their jobs and are good at them and have zero visions of wanting to do something bigger, closer to the ground, and filled with a sense of awe and love. In my insomniatic state of wide eyed awareness last night I got to thinking about this. I reflected on a concert I attended on Friday night of last week and of how the performers loved, or at least seemed to, the craft that they were entertaining us with. Now I suppose one could argue for the fact that it's all show business and that the post concert saga of concertizing could very well be a misery for many of these wonderfully talented singer songwriters. In fact, it may very well be that when all the hoopla has settled and all the cable connections have been disconnected and stored away that the scene could be quiet different. It's the side you never see. The call to load up the bus and move on to the next destination of flashing lights and applause finally arrives and these very people I look upon with such envy ride quietly on into their next locale as they muse about how nice it would be to sit at desk somewhere and have a quiet job to report to each morning with the hopeful expectation of an "end of the day" and plans of maybe meeting close friends afterward for a beer or maybe hitting the gym and then the bookstore on the way home. It's all a matter of perspective I suppose. Sometimes on Monday morning I have thoughts like this. Usually on Friday ... I feel a bit differently! Cheers!

Did you hear ...

Sometimes I marvel at my seeming inability to not listen well. It’s not just in the realm of conversation that I speak but more so in the daily litany of sounds that abound; they seem to, as it were, escape my hearing.

Yesterday, after I wrapped up a day at work and was walking to my car I found myself thinking about something a coworker said to me a day or so ago regarding mindfulness. I have read a lot about mindfulness in my Buddhist excursions and philosophical trail blazing. I’m fully aware of what it means and of the specific meditation technique to funnel my thoughts down to … nothing as I focus on my breath and struggle to harness my inner world.

What I am not so adept at is being mindful of what is around me, i.e., the clicking sound of the keyboard I’m pressing my fingers down on as I type, the brrrr of the A/C unit in our office that churns out cold or warm air, the voices on the other side of the wall from where I sit and a menagerie of other audible snippets.

Maybe we humans are just geared in such a way as to cancel these routine sounds out in order to survive a day and keep from going insane. The only problem herein is that I think we have a tendency to cancel out others in our daily routines.

What leads me to disregard the sounds of the wind causing the leaves to rustle also inclines me to not listen well to the human element that surrounds me each day.

I want to be a better listener.

Your Mask is Showing

Today I am reminded of the duality that exists among all of us humans, i.e. the nasty penchant we have to serve two masters, live co-existing lives, and the like. I think that one of the most horrific things we do is put on masks. When I say this I am not speaking metaphorically but literally. I think it’s frightening to see someone with a mask on of say, Richard Nixon, or Madonna. Why is that? I rather think that it’s partly due to the fear of not really knowing who is behind the mask. Are they good? Is there evil lurking behind the mask? What is really behind the rubber and plastic?

Hypocrisy is rooted in mask wearing. The ability to, as it were, “put on a face” before others when in reality the face we show to the public is quite different than the reality behind the mask. I’ve thought about these today simply because I have asked myself how often I have been guilty of this hidden vice we all get away with more often than we care to admit. It is difficult to be all things to all men (or all “humans” for you gender sensitive folk). However, we do this by being one thing to one person and perhaps quite the opposite towards another individual.

The goal to strive for is to be ONE person, to be honest with our communications so that we don’t ever have to remember what it is we say to people because, if asked, it will just simply be the truth. The truth never has to be remembered because it’s always going to be the same. When we live hypocritically we by default have to have very good memories and an ability to spin words creatively to convince others that things are a certain way when in reality they are … not.

See my tears ... they fill the whole night sky ... the whole night sky

Well, it goes without saying that it is purely cliche to commence writing with endless blabber about the silent period betwixt postings. So, I will spare you the litany of what all has transpired within the last few years and instead plunge into the deep end. I am certain, knowing myself, that one way or another you will eventually hear many a tale regarding happenings, but for now I'm rather happy to just be here again. Many thanks to the soul that has inspired this renewed interest in returning to this blog. You know who you are.

The chaotic events of life that have, as it were, stifled any sense of creativity within me to write are no longer stumbling blocks to me and so I am without excuse to sit idle and avoid the dreamy lust I have for a well phrased morsel of words that says it just right. I don't know why I allowed things to cloud me and keep me muzzled. I have always been, and continue to be, a people watcher and for years I kept little Moleskine journals with all manner of odd things that I had observed or words that I heard for the first time that made me laugh and wonder. I am happy to feel the stirrings within me towards contemplation again.

I think that somewhere embedded in this blog there must be a reference to Bruce Cockburn, a Canadian singer songwriter known more in Canada than here. Look for his song "Pacing the Cage." The last few years have set me to ... pacing the cage and if you listen carefully you will understand my absence from this love affair I have had for many years to write.

Thank you to the soul that helped me regain a feeling of azure skies.

Rei

Forgetting What is Behind ...

I often start these verbal rants, after a long period of not writing, by confessing to my unknown readers that I've no idea where to begin because so much water has gone under the bridge. Today is as good a day as any other to write down my thoughts for I have many of them and who knows but that it can lead to a renaissance of blogging again.

Am fighting people constantly who cannot put my past behind them and move on. It has made me muse much on how difficult it is to simply put the past in it's historical context and get on with life. Why is it that people are so affected by our individual choices and driven to despair by the inability to leave ones personal baggage right where it belongs, i.e., in their capable hands.

For the instrusive I offer the following humble suggestions:

1. Mind your own business. Stay out of the affairs of others. You have too many issues of your own to burden you down with and so why add to the litany the frustration of sorting through someone else's problems. In the grand scheme of things ... what is it to you anyway? Move on. You'll be happier; they will be happier; and the world will breath a sigh of relief.

2. Show some humility. We love to point out the faults in others but are not so apt to turn the gaze on oursleves. Often pride and arrogance are at the root of our moral postulations about this or that. A healthy understanding of your own base nature will more than heal a judgmental attitude. Commit a few sins and you'll be less inclined to condem others for theirs. What was it that Jesus of Nazareth said? "The measure you give will be the measure you get."

3. Live in the present. Going back and changing the past is a Hollywood fabrication that doesn't really work in this life that we live in the here and now. If we choose to live in the past then we will never afford ourselves the freedom to be released from the bondage and burden of past failures. We often love to grovel about the past but does it really work for us? Does it make us more content? Does it give us clear direction for a bright future? Is there any hope in living in the past? Can we change the past? The answer to all these is a resounding no.

4. Make a change. Do something? Nike's marketing centers around the "Just do it" slogan and for this life, that's not too bad when considering making changes that will help you escape the tyranny of the past and embrace the joy of new beginnings. Stop complaining and DO something about your life. Stop blaming others and take personal responsibility for your choices. Make a change and don't procrastinate.

5. Journal. Create a blog of your own! Write down your thoughts in a notebook. Record your failures and what you learned from them. The process of hammering out words to express the errors and misjudgments, poor choices and plain old stupid decisions is a hard one. Why? Because we often like to paint ourselves in the best light. When you take pen to paper remind yourself that if you deceive yourself then you are of all men, or women, most miserable. You cannot escape from yourself so you may as well be honest with the one person you can't escape .... YOU.